Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Dec 29

Hello again. Well, I was hoping Mark would have another good day yesterday as it was his day in between pain patch changes, but I was wrong. He was pretty sedated and just feeling weak and puny. He didn't feel like talking or doing much and pretty much slept all day. Julia, his hospice nurse, came out to check on him. She brought a scale to weigh Mark and he weighed in at a whopping 143 pounds. He is so thin!!! He hasn't eaten in weeks and it just kills me to see him looking like this. They really didn't change anything in his treatment, just keeping him comfortable.

I took the kids to a movie yesterday afternoon. They are getting stir crazy in the house, so we saw Alvin and the Chipmunks. It was pretty cute.

We pray that Mark remains pain free. He has been resting for the past few days and staying pretty sedated. Please continue to pray for peace for Mark and that he remains comfortable. Pray for all those battling cancer. God bless!!!!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Dec 27

Hello to everyone. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. I know those of you in Oklahoma had a very White Christmas. Mark had an episode of pain on Christmas morning that was quite intense and it took a bit to get it under control, but since then, he has been pretty comfortable and doing well. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to get up and watch the kids open gifts or spend any time with us Christmas morning. It is just too hard for him to get out of bed and he can't take much noise or commotion. The kids had a great time Christmas morning and were quite pleased with their gifts. We went to mass on Christmas Eve and even in our new BIG church, the parking lot was full and there were no seats in the inn. I guess that is a very good problem to have.

Mark had a good day yesterday. He was pretty alert most of the day and we got to spend quite a bit of time together. We watched some movies and stayed up until 2am. I was getting so sleepy and he said "Don't fall asleep. I don't know how many more days I'll have like this." I was really fighting to stay awake with him. Some of the time we were talking, it was just like old times and I'd almost forget he was sick. Yesterday was definitely a good day. We changed Mark's pain patches this morning and he's been very sedated all day and not really awake at all. They really knock him out. He is definitely more jaundiced and now having some bleeding from his gut.

Father Bill came over today to visit with Mark, but he was sedated and I had gone out for a bit. Calen forgot to tell me he was coming over and remembered to tell me at dinner tonight. That's a teenager for you.

Mark's parents are still here helping out and have been troopers. They haven't been home to Oklahoma in months now. I just can't image. Kathy got to spend a lot of time with Mark yesterday as well and I know she enjoyed that. We are hoping tomorrow he will be more alert again.

Thanks for the continued support and prayers as always. God bless!!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Dec 23

Hello to everyone. I must say Thank You to whoever had the yard decorated with signs for Mark's birthday. It was great!!! Mark couldn't get up to see it, but Brent went out and took pictures of it and we showed them to Mark and he smiled. It was great and so thoughtful, so thank you!!!!

Today was Kathy's birthday. James the Elf was busy decorating again. He has been busy with decorating this month. Kathy had a bright and colorful glitter hat to wear today and we had a sugar free chocolate cake. We got her a ring with Mark's birthstone in it. I think she really liked it. She isn't really one for jewelry, but we thought she might wear this, so we'll see. The kids were excited to present it to her and of course, they had the "talking" card. Those are a must in our house.

Mark slept most of today and hasn't been feeling very well. He is more jaundiced and you can really start to see the yellow in his skin and eyes. He was vomiting some this morning, but luckily no more of that through the day. His bowels are totally blocked with tumor, so he cannot eat anything and only has sips of water. He was talking like he wanted to call hospice out tomorrow to start him on the IV pain medication instead of the oral medications. The pain seems to be getting a little worse for him. Luckily, the evening of his birthday, he had an alert time and he let me cut his hair and shave him. He had been in full beard for some time. He wanted all his hair off, so we took a 1 blade to him and he looks really different. No hair. He was alert enough to watch a movie with me as well, which was nice. He hurts too bad for me to get next to him and hug him or cuddle with him which I miss, but just spending time with him is nice.

The kids are excited about Christmas coming up. Colton and Emily were bouncing off the walls today. Wow!!!! Don't know what I'm going to do with those two if they don't settle down. Hopefully after the present high leaves, they will calm. Father Bill came over today to see Mark. He spent some time visiting with us and played bowling and tennis with Colton on the Wii. Father Bill is pretty good. I think Colton was impressed.

Many of you have asked about donating to Mark's Scholarship Fund. You can send money directly to Auburn Bank or to our home and I can take it for you. If you are out of town, the address to the bank is PO Drawer 3110 Auburn, AL 36831-3110.

Thanks again to all of those who continue to support us through this journey. Continue to pray for peace and comfort for Mark. Pray for all those fighting cancer as well. I wish everyone safe travels during the holiday season. Please have a Merry Christmas and hold on tight to those you love. God bless!!!!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Dec 21-Mark's 38th birthday

Hello everyone and Happy Birthday Mark. Today is Mark's 38th birthday. It certainly is not the celebrations of the past, but we are trying to celebrate in our own way. I think our dear friend Andy had the best gift of all for Mark. He set up a scholarship fund for Mark with Mark's name on it to go to a deserving Auburn student. What a wonderful birthday present and great honor!!!!! It is a great way to celebrate Mark's birthday, life, and love for Auburn University. Julie Reese sent over a HUGE card with many signatures and birthday wishes from the college of business. Mark was alert enough this morning to read it and I put it up in the room so he can look at it. I decorated the bedroom with a few birthday signs. He can't eat, so no cake or anything.

Karen, I got your email and it made me remember Mark's last birthday. What a great time that was and how different things were then. We went out for Mark's last birthday to Juliana Tokyo's with some dear friends and had dinner and drinks and a wonderful time. It doesn't seem like it was a year ago. How things change in a year!!!! I really do miss that.

Emily made Mark a picture this morning and each of the kids got a card for Mark and they found one of Mark's favorite movies to give him today. We will do that later this evening. The boys both spent the night with friends and haven't been home yet. Kathy, Brent and I all are contributing money to the Mark Bertus Scholarship Fund at Auburn Bank as Mark's birthday gift. I figure that there isn't really much we can get him at this point, so what a better gift and I am so glad Andy thought of it.

Thanks for all the sweet messages on the blog. There are so many of you who read this it sometimes amazes me. As always, continue to pray for Mark and all those fighting cancer. Please hold tight to those you love this holiday season. God bless!!!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Dec 20

Hello to everyone. Mark hasn't been doing well. He continues to decline. He does have a bowel obstruction. He hasn't had anything move in many days now. His abdomen is hard and distended. He was initially having a lot of pain, but the last 2 days he actually seems more comfortable. He is less awake and just seems to be in less pain. When he is awake, he doesn't really complain and takes less of his pain medications. He is looking jaundiced. He doesn't eat and drinks a little.

Today was Emily's 5th birthday. She was quite excited this morning as James, our elf, decorated the house for her birthday. It was really cute. She got a cute party headband and button to wear. She opened presents and we got Chili's takeout for lunch and we plan to have cake and ice cream later. I didn't plan a party for her with her friends yet. I figured I might wait until January to do that. Things have just been so day by day and it is hard to make any plans right now. We will see.

I am trying to get my Christmas shopping done. It is hard to get out and do that, but it is slowly getting done. I might even finish.

Thanks for all the support. We have made it this far because of so many of you helping us with prayers, love and friendship. God couldn't have put us in any better of a place than Auburn, AL. I ask for continued prayers for Mark that he be free of pain and feel God's presence. God bless you all!!!!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Dec 18

Hello everyone. Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. The days fly by. Mark continues to struggle, but is hanging in there. His biggest hurdle besides pain control has been eating. We can't get calories into him and he has lost SO MUCH WEIGHT. He eats virtually nothing day in and day out. His spine protrudes in his back and he has virtually no fat left. Last night he woke me and said his abdomen was "as hard as a rock" and he was a little uncomfortable. That resolved somewhat through the night, but returned this morning and his ostomy has stopped producing any output which signals that his intestines are blocked. His abdomen is very distended today and firm. He feels worse when he drinks fluids. The hospice nurse, Julia, got orders for something for Mark to try, but so far it hasn't helped. I don't know that there will be much that they can do if he is obstructed since the cancer is everywhere in his abdomen. It is just hard seeing him like this. He has been sleeping most of the day and looks comfortable, so that is good. Julia offered him an IV drip, but so far he has declined this.

Eugenie, Mark's sister, left today to go to the airport. She is flying home to Texas to spend some time with the kids and prepare for their family's Christmas. Brent took her to the airport this morning.

Today was the kids' last day of school and they are excited for the break. I went to Colton's program at Cary Woods today and it was sweet. The kids all did so well. I somehow have to get Christmas shopping done and Emily's birthday is Dec 20th, so that will be here Sunday. Mark's birthday is Monday the 21st. Dottie, our angel of a receptionist at work, arranged for me to be off on Monday for Mark's birthday. Of course, Dr. Adams is also an angel for agreeing to see my patients as he was scheduled to be off and is now coming in to see my patients. It was so wonderful of them to do that for me. They are such wonderful people at The Orthopaedic Clinic!!!!! The entire office has done so much for me and my family.

Thanks to all of you who have written such sweet letters and emails. I have given them to Mark or read them to Mark during his awake and alert periods. He has smiled enjoyed them all. Many of them have brought me to tears (good ones-bitter sweet ones). Our dear friend Andy has been over here nearly every day spending it with Mark and our family, he has practically become one of us. Even when Mark doesn't feel like visiting, Andy is here, just for support. There will never be enough words to thank Andy for all he's given us in just being our friend through this.

Please continue to pray for Mark. Remember all those fighting cancer as well. Please remember the Parker family, the family of Laura Brown who recently lost her young life to ovarian cancer, and the family of Bennie Pierce who lost his young life to renal cancer in your prayers. God bless!!!!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Dec 14

Hello everyone. Things are about the same in the Bertus house. Mark continues to have struggles with pain. He ran out of the pain pills Hospice brought by on Friday afternoon by Sunday morning and I had to call to get a refill on Sunday. We put an extra pain patch on him while we were waiting on the extra pills to arrive and that seemed to work well. I really don't know how he's still going on virtually no calories for the last few weeks. He occasionally will have a drink of OJ or fruit punch, but that is about it. He ate a few bites of a meatball last night which was very impressive and wanted some pineapple slices in the middle of the night. He continues to run fevers in spite of the antibiotics.

Mark's hospice nurse called this morning to see how the weekend went and will be getting an order for a stronger pain patch for the week in an attempt to cut down on the need for extra pills. I really hope it works. He sleeps a lot and can't stand to have any noise or stimuli.

Just as I was typing this, Mark was sleeping in bed holding his water glass and dropped it all over the bed. His immediate instinct was to jump up and out of bed since it was ice water. He started to fall and tried to sit in the chair which he did for a few seconds and then fell face down out of the chair onto the ground. Of course, all this motion caused his pain to escalate. It was awful. I had to quickly get the bed changed and cleaned up so we could get him back in it.

Last night, Mark wanted to watch our wedding video again. We watched it with Kathy, Brent and Eugenie. Matt left to go back to Oklahoma City last night. He has been here since before Thanksgiving and needed to get back home for a while.

Thanks again to all of you who continue to pray for us and support us in our cancer battle. God bless you all!!!!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Dec 11

Hello everyone. Not much has changed in the Bertus house. Mark continues to have bouts of pain followed by periods of sedation after his meds are on board. There isn't much of a happy medium. He is weak to the point he can't really talk much. His voice is raspy. I wish I could say he is comfortable, but he really isn't much of the time and it makes me feel helpless. He does not want to go to the Bethany House to get IV pain medications, so we are trying to manage here. His hospice nurse was by today with refills of the pain medicines to get us through the weekend. Mark had a fever of 101.5 this evening as well. He is on a pretty powerful antibiotic already and Dr. Farmer plans to leave him on the antibiotic from now on and just not stop it since he has been getting peritonitis. I hope that is not a sign that the infection is gaining strength. Cancer itself can sometimes cause a fever. We will see.

Mark's cousin, Michael, came in today from Texas to visit Mark and will be here until tomorrow. It was good to see him and we enjoyed the visit. I wish Mark was feeling better and could actually talk with him some. Mark always loved Michael so much.

Father Bill was over today, but Mark was too sedated at the time to wake up and visit.

Calen went out bowling tonight with friends and I was glad to see him get out of the house for a little bit. Colton went to spend he night with a friend. I think it is a good break for him to get out of the house some. Emily was a firecracker tonight showing off for Michael. She couldn't sit still at all and wore herself out. Hopefully she will sleep late tomorrow. We will see.

Thanks again for all of you who continue to support us in so many sweet and kind ways. Your prayers and kind words are so appreciated. Please continue to pray for Mark. Pray for Marie Hoffman-I have no updates on how she's doing, but I'm sure prayers are always appreciated. Pray for the Parker family. They received good news at Carly's last visit to MD Anderson. Pray for the Pierce family who recently lost Bennie to cancer that they may find peace this Christmas. God bless!!!!!!!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Dec 10

Hello everyone. Today has been a long day. Mark had a very rough night last night with a lot of pain and suffering. It took quite a bit of pain medication to get him comfortable and he refused to turn the light off last night for us to sleep, so we slept with the bedroom light on. I don't know why he insisited the light be on, but he did. He was moaning and groaning and just miserable. He ended up taking quite a bit of medication and then finally used some of the morphine this morning. He eventually got comfortable and it was good to see him rest and look peaceful. We thought for a while it may be his last day with us. His lips looked white and he was pale and mottled a bit. He was pretty out of it all day and not very responsive and had very shallow breathing at times. Matt went and checked the kids out of school just to be safe. Luckily Mark seems to be a little better now. He has a very weak voice, but is talking some. He is still using quite a bit of pain medication. I, of course, didn't go in to work today.

Dr. Farmer emailed me this morning just to check on Mark, so I informed her of what was going on here. She offered to put Mark in the Bethany House to get a better handle on his pain, but he wants to stay here. His hospice nurse, Julia, came by today and checked on him. His blood pressure was actually good. She is going to make sure he has enough pain medications to get us through the weekend. If he gets bad, the Bethany House is always an option, but we want to do everything we can to keep Mark at home. Mark hasn't eaten anything at all in 2 days now. He is drinking a little water and had a very tiny bit of orange juice yesterday and a small glass of fruit punch today, so not much in the way of calories.

Kathy, Matt, Eugenie, Brent and I spent most of the day sitting with Mark. It made for a long day today. Matt and Brent decided to take Calen to baseball tryouts this afternoon as Mark seemed to be doing a bit better and then Eugenie and Matt took the kids out to eat dinner at Cheeburger Cheeburger.

Mark has been somewhat grumpy which is hard. I just want to hold his hand or lay with him and he hurts so bad and feels so bad, he just wants to be left alone and not be touched. We all just have to sit and watch him from a distance. I think that is the hardest part for me. I really miss his humor, hearing his laughter and just joking with him or having him tease me about something. I would really love it if he feels good enough to do that again.

I have to say Thank You to Tia. Your letter was so wonderful and touching. I would never have thought about doing a Build-A-Bear for Emily with Mark's voice message, so Thank You!!!! You are so kind and that will be something that Emily will cherish forever. God bless you!!! Thanks to so many of you for all of your wonderful support. Mark got a phone call from Gene Chizik-I don't know who asked him to call Mark, but thank you. My mother had Billy Sims, the former Oklahoma great and Heismann winner call Mark a few weeks ago which was a neat surprise. Thanks mom!!! Oh yeah, Scott we got your letter from New Zealand. Thanks!! It was great hearing from you and your letter was wonderful.

Please continue to pray for Mark. Pray that he will not suffer with pain. It would be nice to see him in a pain free state so that he could enjoy some more time with us and create some more memories. Pray for all of those suffering with cancer out there. God bless!!!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Dec 8

Hello to everyone. I want to thank everyone for the wonderful birthday cards, wishes, gifts, food, flowers. It was overwhelming and awesome. I was totally surprised and felt so loved by so many of you. I woke to my house being decorated with "40" stuff everywhere and then my front yard was filled with cows and a sign "Holy Cow Ronda's 40" thanks to Debbie Brooks and Stacey Brandon, I hear. Mark wanted to make the day special for me and he got up out of bed several times. He took a couple of pictures with the family which was great. I think he was totally worn out and slept the entire day after my birthday. I felt guilty about that.

Angie, Matt's wife, flew into Birmingham the evening of my birthday and stayed until this morning and flew back to Oklahoma City. It was nice to see her and I think Matt has been missing her a lot. He has been here since before Thanksgiving. Eugenie, Mark's sister is in from Austin, TX now as well. Mark's parents have been here since Sept with the exception of a 2 week break they took when my mom visited. They are troopers.

The Hospice nurse was out to visit Mark on Monday. He is stable. He doesn't get out of bed for much of anything and is very weak. He eats very little if anything and our goal is to keep him out of pain. So far, he seems to stay pretty comfortable for the most part. He occasionally will hurt and not take his medicine like he should. He is still stubborn about things. The Hospice team has a child psychologist that is supposed to visit with each of the kids weekly. She is a very nice lady and Colton and Emily are fine with this, but Calen totally freaked out about it. He started yelling and crying and does NOT want to see her. He was very opposed to this on both occasions that I discussed it with him. I talked with Mark about it tonight and he thinks we should just not make him see her for now. I guess he is right. I just worry about Calen. He holds a lot in and seems to be withdrawn a lot. He doesn't do much with his friends like he has in years past. He told me he didn't want to see her at school because that was the only place he could be "normal" and maybe it is where he escapes from all of this. I also wonder if he is afraid he will break down at school. I will try to call them tomorrow before they make it to the Jr High and talk with her. I think he will need it eventually, but I don't want him to feel pressure.

I went back to work today after being off for the last few weeks since starting on Hospice. It was very hard for me. I feel like I should be home with Mark, but I can't be off forever either. It is a difficult decision. I only got to see Mark for a little bit the entire day since I had to take Colton to basketball practice when I got home from work, then get Emily into bed, read books with her and then read with Colton for 20 minutes. It eats up all of your time and before you know it, it's almost midnight.

We continue to pray for Mark and ask for strength to get us through what is to come. Please remember Mark in your prayers as always. God bless!!!!!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Dec 4

Hello again. Mark continues to weaken each day. He was very tired yesterday and seems much more so today. He even seems somewhat confused this morning, but hasn't been awake much. He says he isn't hurting and looks much more peaceful than he has. We have spent the last week just sitting with him and talking, watching old movies and just hanging out as he feels he has the energy. I was laying with him last night and he fell asleep so I got up to go put Emily and Colton in bed. Mark woke and saw I was gone, he got up and walked into the living room and found his parents sleeping on the couch, so he WALKED UP THE STAIRS to find me. This is a huge thing for Mark to do, so I about jumped out of my skin when Mark came stumbling in to Colton's room last night. It scared me to death to see him upstairs. I was terrified he was going to fall back down the stairs. He said "I thought you were going to spend some time with me". He cracks me up sometimes. He hasn't lost his sense of humor through all of this.



Mark had a bad nightmare last night. He has been having many of them lately. They usually involve him being separated from the family. He started moaning really loudly and then yelling "No" over and over, so I thought he might be huring and I was trying to wake him up and he punched me right in the face. I am really glad he isn't nearly as strong as he used to be. We had to laugh about it. After he was more awake he asked "Did I hit you?". I told him I was going to call DHR for spousal abuse. I hate that he is having nightmares. I don't know if the pain medications are causing that or if it is just some of the fear he is experiencing. Maybe a combination of both.

I wanted to say thank you, thank you, thank you to Dan Gropper for the wonderful letter you wrote and the pictures. There really aren't words to let you know how much the letter you wrote means to me, especially the part to our children letting them know what kind of a man Mark was in your eyes. I don't think I can ever tell you how much that means, but thank you!!! Thanks also to the MBA students for your card to Mark. It is good to know how many lives Mark has touched in so many ways. I have heard from so many of Mark's former students and it truly amazes me sometimes.

Tomorrow will be my 40th birthday. I had always thought Mark and I would celebrate it together doing something big like a trip or a big party. This certainly isn't the way I had ever imagined to be spending my 40th.

Hospice has been out several times. We have met his nurse, the social worker, chaplain and they have a kids counsellor who will meet with the kids next week. Father Bill continues to come out weekly and give Mark communion and did the annointing of the sick about a week ago with Mark.

Thanks to all of you who have continued to support us in all of this. There are too many of you to name, but we appreciate all of your love and support. Please continue to pray for Mark. God bless!!!!!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Nov 30

Hello. Mark is hanging in there. He hasn't been out of bed except to use the restroom in the last week. We did not go to the Cancer Center for treatment today. He has decided to stop treatments. Hospice has been out and visited with us. They have gotten a more intense dose of pain medication from Dr. Farmer in an attempt to make Mark more comfortable so that he doesn't experience much pain. He hasn't eaten anything to mention in the last week either. He asked for some sushi for lunch and we were all impressed. Kathy and I went out in search of sushi today. Of course, Juliana Tokyos, Shoguns and Mandarin House were all closed. We drove to South College and tried Fuji and the sushi was really good there. We spread it all out across our bed and Kathy, Brent, Matt, Mark and I all had a sushi picnic this afternoon. It was kind of fun.

Mark has been progressively getting weaker and losing weight. He is having difficulty this afternoon holding his water glass up to drink which is new.

Mark hasn't gotten up and out of bed for most of the week. He can't tolerate much noise, light or motion. Calen came back last night and sat with his dad and they talked about baseball tryouts and just visited. After Calen went to bed, Mark told me he wanted to start talking with the kids tonight to start saying his goodbyes to them. He cried when he talked about Emily because he said that she wouldn't even remember him when she grew up. It just kills me to have to go through this. I don't want to say goodbye. I don't want the kids to have to say goodbye. I'd rather scream or punch something, but of course that doesn't change things. I know that God has a reason, but I feel selfish and want to keep Mark here with me.

Please continue to pray for Mark and all of those battling this illness. Pray for the Parker family who is going back to MD Anderson this week for another round of tests. As always, God bless!!!!!

Friday, November 27, 2009

Nov 27

Hello. I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving. Sorry for the long absense in posts. Mark hasn't been doing well. He has been in bed for 3 days straight and hasn't been well at all. He didn't eat anything during that time as well. Dr. Farmer called to check on Mark and decided to send Hospice out. They haven't been here yet as it was right before Thanksgiving. They may be here today. Mark managed to get up for Thanksgiving and sat at the table for approximately an hour. He was up a little bit during the day yesterday and we got to listen to funny stories about his childhood told by his brother Matt and his parents. Mostly about their different pets and such, but we laughed and it was fun. Mark was totally worn out and slept good. He is really hurting today and can't eat or get up again today. I think today is the worst day I've seen him have yet. He doesn't want me to even touch him. It is a very helpless feeling.

The kids went to the Auburn/Alabama game. Once again, I gave up my ticket so as not to break tradition. I've given it up every year since we've moved to Auburn now. There was no way I could leave Mark today. The kids took their cousins Chris (who is in college) and Katie who is a High Schooler. Their uncle Matt also went with them.

Dr. Farmer talked like she may stop by the house Saturday or Sunday to talk with Mark. We will see. He is supposed to have an appointment Monday to be infused, but I doubt we make it in Monday the way things are going now.

God bless!!!!!!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Nov 19

Hello again. Things have improved in the Bertus house. Mark is feeling better. The fevers seem to have gone for now. Mark ran a low grade fever later yesterday, but hasn't had any today, so I think the antibiotic is working for him. He felt like getting up and about today and he went to lunch with his parents and sister at Juliana Tokyos. He ate a little sushi, but had to be careful not to overeat. He did pretty good with the meal and felt okay until late afternoon and started having some stomach issues and had to lay in bed for several hours. He skipped dinner, but is up and about again now and seems to be feeling better again. We have plans to go see the movie Blind Side tomorrow if Mark is feeling up to it. Can't wait.

The kids and I have all gotten our H1N1 vaccine. Mark decided he didn't want to get one. He's just not been feeling great. Brent and Kathy took the boys to Auburn University today to get theirs done, so we are all officially vaccinated.

Calen has been busy working out for baseball tryouts. He's been doing a lot of extra after school activities and staying busy. This weekend he will go to Callaway Gardens and do the March of Dimes walk through the Fantasy of Lights with the St. Michaels youth group. Colton is gearing up for basketball. His first official practice will be Dec 4th. Emily had her Auburn/Alabama tailgate party at school today. They did it early since next week will be short at school. We made cookies and they had a big celebration. She wore her Auburn cheerleader outfit to school today.

We continue to take things one day at a time. We pray that tomorrow will be a good day for Mark and that his body will continue to heal itself. We look for God's direction and pray for his mercy. Please remember the Parker family, Marie Hoffman and all those fighting cancer out there. God bless!!!!!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Nov 18

Hello to all. Mark had an awful night last night. I woke around 2:30 am with the sound of his teeth chattering and looked over to see him shaking uncontrollably. He wasn't feverish at that time, but I knew it was coming. He was freezing cold and covered up with every blanket possible and just couldn't quit shivering. About 30 minutes later, he was burning up with fever and had spiked a temp of 102.5. I had 2 antibiotic pills here, so I gave him one of them and some Tylenol to break the fever. He was better around 5:30 and the fever was gone, but he felt like crap and was having a lot of pain. We changed out the pain patch, but he continued to have a lot of pain today. I planned on just staying home from work today and having them cancel my patients, but Mark insisted that he would be okay and that his mom and sister were here with him, so I went to work even though it was hard to leave him like that. I was also quite exhausted from being up last night. I called Dr. Farmer's office about the fever and to let them know I gave him the antibiotic. They called in a Rx for more antibiotics and if he is still running fever by the end of the week, they need to know. He's been having some urinary symptoms so I don't know if that is the source of the infection or not. He hasn't been coughing or having any breathing problems. The shaking chill leads you to believe it is bacterial and not viral.

The tumors in Mark's belly continue to give him pain. I rub his belly in the evening time and there is a very large tumor much larger than a grapefruit in the center of his abdomen. It just has to be miserable for him.

Mark's sister Eugenie is here from Austin and will stay until just before Thanksgiving and Matt (Mark's twin) and Shaun (Mark's older brother) will be here for Thanksgiving. Shaun will be bringing his 3 children and the kids are excited to see their cousins. They are high school and college age.

Thanks to the Slammers families for dinner Tuesday night and last Tuesday night. It was very good and we appreciate all of your love and support. Colton got his basketball team assignment tonight and it looked like a mini Slammers team. He was excited to see Carson and Jackson's names on his team roster.

We continue to pray for healing in Mark's body. We certainly haven't gotten great news lately, but Mark hasn't given up and we haven't given up on him either. It is difficult seeing him suffer and have so much pain. Cancer is such an awful disease and I wish there were a cure for all those out there suffering with this illness. Please remember Mark in your prayers as well as all those out there fighting this disease. Remember Carly Parker and the Parker family as well as Marie Hoffman. God bless!!!!!!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Nov 16

Hello. We spent the morning and half the afternoon in the infusion center today. Mark had his blood drawn and we planned to use the CEA to help determine his treatment plan for today, but the lab machine was broken that runs the CEA lab. We met with Dr Farmer and discussed things. Dr Farmer went over the three plans of action with us. First, provided the CEA stabilized we can stay with the Vectibix and ride it out as long as we can. Second, we switch therapy and try the FOLFOX with Avastin as a last ditch effort. She isn't convinced it will work and thinks it's only a 5% chance at best of success. Third, we can stop treatment and put Mark on hospice. Usually there would be an option for clinical trials, but unfortunately there aren't any trials nationwide for Mark to get into right now. That just goes to show you that we need a lot more money put into cancer research. The drugs and cures aren't here and neither are the trials going on to find the cure. It's really a helpless feeling. Since the marker wasn't back yet and Mark was feeling pretty good and his weight was up 1 lb to 162, we opted to give him the Vectibix again today. He got infused without any complications. This one really doesn't make him sick at all or give him side effects except for the acne rash, so all being said it wasn't a bad trade off. His magnesium was low again, which required a 2 hour magnesium infusion and kept us there until around 3pm.

After returning home, we got an email from Dr. Farmer with Mark's CEA coming back at 588. It wasn't great news for sure,but was actually somewhat better than I had expected. We didn't publish Mark's last CEA which was 473 and that was 5 days after his last treatment of the Erbitux and Camptosar and just before his first Vectibix infusion. It really skyrocketed in those 5 days, so only going up 115 points in 2 weeks wasn't devastating. Dr. Farmer will do another CEA in 2 weeks when we return for treatment and depending on that number, we will either get another Vectibix or go back to the FOLFOX with Avastin. The FOLFOX likely will make Mark a little sick, but HOPEFULLY will lower the CEA and start treating the cancer again after a long time of letting it grow uncontrollably.

The boys and I had another talk about Mark's illness after mass Sunday. We got out of the car and took a little walk at Cary Woods school just to get some fresh air. It is really tough for them. Colton asked me before bed that night "why can't I just have a normal life?". It was really hard. My heart aches for them. He says he needs his dad here to teach him things and he is right. I just told him to pray and we will see what happens, but God has a plan for all of our lives and his plan may not always be what our plan is.

Please continue to lift Mark up in prayer as always. We are hopeful that something will work although the options don't look great right now. Remember the Parker family in your prayers as well as Marie Hoffman who is having surgery this week. God bless!!!!!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Nov 11

Hello to all. It's been a while since I've posted. Mark is hanging in there. He seems to have qute a bit of pain, but doesn't want to admit it, so he just stays quiet and withdraws. He will sometimes stay in the bedroom most of the day just laying in bed. He is just tired and weak and worn out, but continues to fight. He is still doing pretty well with his eating. He tries to graze and will do good for a day or two and then have a day where he hardly eats anything. It is frustrating for him and for us to sit and watch. He wants to feel better and we want to help him, so we all feel a bit frustrated. We go back for chemo on Monday. We will see how things look then.

Mark made it out to Calen's football banquet Monday night. It was just over an hour and was quite an outing for him. He had a hard time finding something to put on as all of his clothes are HUGE on him now. Tomorrow night is Colton's end of the year football party, so I'm not sure he'll be up for that one. We will see.

Thanks to all of you who continue to support us. Your words, cards and letters are very welcome and comforting. So many of you have touched our lives in ways that will forever change us. God has brought us so many special friends into our lives and we thank all of you for that. Please continue to lift Mark up in prayer. I ask that you continue to remember Carly Parker in your prayers also. There is one more special request tonight. I met a very special lady today who I believe was brought to me by God, for her messages were so touching and she is such a witness of God. She was recently diagnosed with lung cancer and will be having surgery next week to remove the mass. She has already battled and beat stage 4 breast cancer and is quite the warrior and a true believer in God's healing power. Please remember Marie Hoffman in your prayers during her cancer battle. God bless!!!!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Nov 5

Hello and good evening to all. It has been a rather uneventful day. Mark seems to be doing okay. That is to say, he is holding his own. He still has pain and his stomach cramps a lot when he tries to eat, so the eating becomes a problem. He is trying hard to constantly "graze" on food instead of eating big meals and hopefully that will help. We are trying to fill him with every calorie we can get in him. He tries so hard. His mom constantly gives him back rubs to help with the pain and I rub his belly. You can feel the tumors now. They are pretty solid and I can't image what they must feel like to him having them intertwined with the intestines.

Mark's father has been busy helping the boys with their baseball. He takes Calen to hit at the batting cages and works on pitching with Colton and the boys are enjoying having him here to help. He is also becoming quite the taxi as the kids have multiple activities to get to and from.

Yesterday was Andy's 50th birthday, so we had reason to celebrate in the Bertus household. Mark sent me on a mission to decorate Andy's office door the night before and then we had dinner and a cookie cake with a party hat (compliments of Emily). We sat and watched the World Series (I'm pretty sure I slept through the end of it). It was a good evening and we enjoyed getting to spend some time with Andy on his birthday. I will try to post those pictures on facebook soon.

This chemo will be given every 2 weeks, so Mark's next infusion will be Nov 16th. We hope and pray that things will improve. If they don't look favorable, Dr. Farmer agreed to try the FOLFOX regimen once more. She doesn't feel it will be effective, but for whatever reason, every fiber of my being feels that it will work this time. It worked for so long before and it was only when Mark developed that allergy did it start puttering out. He has been off of it for nearly a year now, so he is naive to it for that long and it just may work again. Maybe I'm just grabbing for a lifeline, but I really feel strongly that we should try it. I have felt this way since Mark's surgery was aborted. In fact, I wanted to go straight back to FOLFOX instead of having to try the Erbitux stuff. I know I'm very opinionated, but I can't help it. I do fully trust Dr. Farmer. She has been very open and honest with us from the beginning and has said that she would try this if we want to do it. For now, I am waiting to see what the Vectibix does.

Once again thanks for all the prayers and support. We are very comforted to know that so many of you think of us and pray for us often. Please continue the prayers and remember Carly Parker and her family in your prayers as she is in remission now-pray that she remains cancer free. God bless!!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Nov 3

Hello again. We made it to the Cancer Center this morning. We were thinking that we were set as far as blood work being done and that we'd just be a go with getting infused, but we were wrong. Mark got blood work drawn again and we had to wait on results (which is fine). His magnesium was low again which required another IV magnesium infusion before the treatment could start. Dr. Farmer also wanted to meet with us to discuss the treatment again and answer any questions. We are unsure that this is the right thing to do and she is as well, but it is our last option so we must try it. I know I sounded down on it the last blog or two. It is extremely similar to Erbitux which he took with the last chemo that didn't work and they are giving this as monotherapy, but Andrea (Mark's chemo nurse) said that she has had patients who failed Erbitux as Mark had and who responded to the Vectibix and that was what I needed to hear today. It gave me the hope I needed as I need so much to feel like we are helping Mark instead of letting the cancer take over. Mark's weight was down another pound to 161 from 162 last Thursday. That was not a great sign since we skipped the chemo and he still lost weight.

Mark tolerated the infusion well. He got sleepy because of the Benadryl they give him to prevent drug reactions. He came home this afternoon and slept. His stomach has been upset some tonight and he's been hurting some. He tried to eat the best he could, but it is really hard for him.

I was in the car listening to the radio and Rascal Flatts' song My Wish came on. It is the song I dedicated to my 3 children long before Mark got sick with cancer. It made me so sad and I had to cry as part of the verse is "your dreams stay big, your worries stay small, you never have to carry more than you can hold". That was so what I wished for my children and here they are facing stage 4 colon cancer in their 37 year old father. I wish somehow I could take the worry and pain away from the children, but that is impossible. I know that this is all part of God's plan and we have to journey through these tough times and look to him for direction and guidance. It is a true test of faith as you hand it all over to the Lord. (I am still human and the tears still flow).

Thanks so much to all of you who continue to pray for Mark and offer support to us in so many ways. We appreciate you more than you know. Please continue to keep Mark in your prayers as always. Remember Carly Parker in your prayers as well. God bless!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Nov 2

Hello to all. We did not go in to the Cancer Center today for Mark to get infused. We found out Friday late in the afternoon that the pharmacy didn't have enough drug to infuse Mark and would have to order more which meant a Tuesday infusion. I felt bad for Dottie who does the scheduling at our office. She had just rescheduled my patients for Monday and then I show up Monday morning telling her I need to be off Tuesday. She smiled at me and started bringing in Tuesdays patients today for me to see. She is such a gem. She has done so much for me during this time I cannot even begin to tell you.

Mark seems to be doing a little better. It was nice having the time off of chemo. He didn't have the vomiting and nausea all weekend and was actually able to eat some. He woke this morning in more pain than I've ever seen him in. He was moaning out loud and just couldn't move. I got him pain pills and we changed his pain patch early. I just laid next to him and held his hand. It is really a helpless feeling. I eventually had to leave for work and his parents stayed with him. I checked on him at lunch and he was much better. It is so hard trying to work and having Mark be so sick. It just tears me up.

Mark wasn't feeling well enough for Trick-or-Treat. He stayed home and didn't even get up to hand out candy. I took Emily out who dressed up as Cinderella. She was so funny this year. She had a great time in the neighborhood. She got scared at a couple of haunted houses and we tried to avoid the scary stuff. Colton changed his mind about his costume at the last minute and dressed in his Slammers baseball uniform and went out with a bunch of his friends. Calen was too old to go out for candy, so he stayed behind and handed out candy. He's such a sweetie. I took a lot of pictures and put them on my facebook page.

I talked with both the boys about Mark's previous chemo regimen not working and that we were switching to something new. I was also honest in telling them that this was the last thing approved to treat dad's cancer. They were both quiet and didn't say much. I think they understand the situation. Emily will be harder to talk with. All she's ever known is her dad being sick. She sits and makes him get well cards all the time. She is really sweet.

We leave for the Cancer Center in the morning. Pray that Mark's cancer will respond to the Vectibix. We could really use some good news. Remember Carly Parker in your prayers as well. God bless!!!!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Oct 29

Hello again. We went to the Cancer Center this morning as usual. Mark started vomiting this morning just thinking about going. We went ahead and had his CEA drawn. His magnesium came back low, so they started his magnesium infusion. His CEA level came back next and was much higher at 370. His previous reading was 240. It has really escalated on this regimen. Mark and I talked and decided that he shouldn't have this chemo today. I think it is just torture to put him through this when it doesn't appear to be working at all. He is miserable with the chemo-fatigue, nausea and vomiting and only the last 2 days of this cycle has been able to eat worth anything. Mark was in total agreement. We talked with Dr. Farmer. The problem is there is only one other approved chemo regimen that Mark hasn't tried and it is called Vectibix (?sp). It is almost identical to the Erbitux, but is fully humanized instead of using a mouse protein and he wouldn't have to take the Camptosar with it (which probably causes a lot of the nausea and vomiting and cramping). It is doubtful that it will be effective since the Erbitux wasn't. We both feel like we want to try the FOLFOX regimen one more time. This is the first regimen Mark was on when he was diangnosed. It worked for a long time and only stopped working when Mark developed the leukovorin allergy. He has been off of it for quite some time and his cancer may respond again. Dr. Farmer is doubtful, but said she would try it again if we really wanted to. She talked with us again about hospice.

Mark's weight was officially 162 which is down from his previous 168 at the infusion center. He did get it up a few pounds from what he lost at home from the last round of chemo. He is getting more pain and that is most likely from the cancer spreading in the abdomen. It makes it hard for him to eat as it covers most of the intestines and his pain now radiates into his back. The pain patches help a lot and he has pills for breakthrough pain. We haven't given up hope and Mark intends to try the rest of the chemo regimens as he is definitely a fighter. We will see what happens.

The kids will trick or treat tonight, so maybe Mark will feel like going out for a little bit now. If not, he may enjoy seeing some of the trick or treaters we get at the house.

Thanks to everyone for all of the support. Please continue to pray for Mark. God bless!!!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Oct 28

Hello. Mark is feeling better just in time to get back for another chemo infusion. He has had two pretty decent days. He is trying like crazy to make up the calories and get in what he can. His weight on our home scale was down to 160 a couple of days ago after all of the sickness and inability to eat, he really lost a lot. Hopefully he has been able to put some of that back on. He is eating everything he can possibly get in. Calen was impressed with the amount he ate at dinner tonight. We hope it is enough to keep the chemo schedule on track.

Tomorrow morning Mark is scheduled for his last chemo in this cycle. He will get a two week break after this and we are all looking forward to that. We may move the chemo back to Mondays as that was his preferred day before so his feel good days would be on the weekends when he could do more with the family. It just makes sense. He wasn't happy about the kids doing trick or treat tomorrow night and he probably will miss it all.

Mark had a good visit today at lunch with Lee and Keven. He also enjoyed dinner last night with Andy. He has enjoyed having a little company when he is feeling better. It is nice to see him engaging in work conversations and talking spots, etc again.

Our sad news today is our guinea pig, Leppy, died this morning. I was driving her to the vet as she was having a hard time standing up and was very weak and she died in my lap on the way there. It was so sad. I pulled off the road and just cried. We had to tell the kids this evening. The guinea pig was more of Colton's pet as she stayed in his room and he was there the night she was born. He is very attached. He took it hard. We had to bury her and find a stone for her grave marker. Colton wanted to get out all of his pictures of him and Leppy and put them on his bulletin board. He cried for an hour before going to bed. It just breaks my heart.

Emily has a field trip to the pumpkin patch tomorrow and is very excited. She says she is going to pick out the biggest pumpkin they have. We will see. Calen is staying busy with sports and school. He has been working really hard this week. The kids made a Halloween cake tonight with their grandparents. It was chocolate cake with orange icing. They put edible ghosts, pumpkins, worms, and spiders on the cake as well as some nonedible "scary" spiders. This was Emily's doing. She thought up everything she wanted on a Halloween cake and her granny and granddad went out and bought the stuff. They had fun doing it and it took some of the stress of Leppy dying away. It was a good night to make cake.

Thanks to everyone for the continued support. We pray for strength each day to get through this and to find God's message in all that we face. We've become better listeners for sure. Please continue to pray for Mark. Please remember Carly Parker as well as all those battling cancer. God bless!!!!!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Oct 25

Hell to all. Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. It's been busy. Mark has been quite sick with this round of chemo. He did okay Thursday, but Friday he began vomiting and was up all night Friday night with violent vomiting episodes. This didn't stop until early Saturday morning and he finally was able to fall asleep and rest. Needless to say, he hasn't eaten much this weekend and is WAY down on his calorie intake. He is slowly starting to feel better, but still even today hasn't eaten much at all.

Mark's aunts from New Orleans, Aunt Maureen and Aunt Louise, made it here Friday for a visit. They came bearing gifts of shrimp po boys, muffalattas, and king cake. YUM!!!! We enjoyed great food all weekend. Mark was disappointed that he wasn't feeling better and only spent a limited amount of time visiting with them. It was a really rough weekend for him and he is just this evening starting to feel better. The kids enjoyed the weekend and Emily talked everyone's ear off. We went to mass this morning and had lunch and Louise and Maureen headed back home this afternoon. The kids are now looking forward to Mardi Gras as they want to go to New Orleans to visit their aunts and see the parades.

Colton kept us busy with football make up games and a baseball tournament. His football team lost, but the baseball team won the tournament. That was their last tournament for the fall season and we will now get a breather until spring.

Thanks for all the support once again. Please keep Carly Parker in your prayers as well. God bless!!!!!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Oct 22

Hello to everyone. We are here in the infusion center about to be finished with Mark's chemo. He is doing well. They were going to draw a CEA today, but Mark refused it and said he didn't want it to be done. He is so stubborn. He wants to wait until next week at his 4th infusion. arghhhhh!!!!! I did not say anything. I just smiled at his nurse and kept my mouth shut for it is his body and his cancer and I am just the wife and supporter. That was hard to do, but I thought I did an awfully good job today since inside I wanted to pinch him or scream at him. Anyway, we will know in due time. The reality of it is, Mark is doing better and no one can argue with that. He has had a very noticeable improvement over the past few days. Yesterday he asked his parents to go to lunch with him at McAlister's and they had a lunch outing. He also wanted to take a walk outside last night and we walked to the end of the block and back. These are HUGE improvements for Mark as he has pretty much been sitting in a chair all day or sleeping in the bed. His color is better, his pain seems to be less and you can just tell he feels a little better. When we walked into the infusion center today, Andrea (his infusion nurse) right away said he looked much better. His weight was stable at 168. We had hoped for a gain, but the fact that he didn't lose was encouraging.

Tonight is the Jr. High game against Opelika. Mark is hoping that he feels good enough to make the game tonight as it will be Calen's last football game this year. We will see how it goes. We should be finished here just after 3pm.

Thanks to all of you who continue to support us through this journey and have prayed for Mark. We feel very blessed. Casey, thanks so much for the email today. I was cracking up so hard while reading it today. I miss you guys so much!!!!! Please remember Carly Parker in your prayers. She had spots show up on her follow up chest CT and now they are waiting to find out what this means. God bless!!!!!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Oct 19

Hello again. Not much exciting to report from the Bertus household. Mark is continuing to fight. He is tough and hanging in there. I talked with Andrea, his chemo nurse, to confirm his appointment for Thursday and she was asking about him. She was excited to hear about the rash and said that it usually means he is responding to the chemo. It was good to hear. Mark doesn't like the fact that he has acne, but we love it. His biggest challenge now is eating. He cannot find foods that won't cause him to bloat and feel distended and full. He likes to eat his usual diet stuff which probably isn't the best choice as far as that is concerned, but on the other hand, he needs a lot of calories. As you can see, it is frustrating. His pain seems to be a little better, but as soon as I say that, he may relapse and have a bad day. It is hard to predict.

Mark's parents are still here and helping out with the kids and caring for Mark during the day while I am working. That is a big help. His aunts from New Orleans may be up this weekend for a visit and Mark is excited about seeing them. Thursdays chemo will be here again before we know it. Pray that our number is a good one. God bless!!!!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Oct 18

Hello again. Today has been a good day so far. Mark slept pretty late as he was just tired, but got up and had some breakfast. He seems to be doing a little better this week, so hopefully that's a sign that this chemo is helping. He has developed a pustular acne like rash across his nose and cheeks which is a common side effect of the Erbitux. I read one study which said that the patients who got the rash actually responded better to the drug, so we can hope that this is true.

Mark made it out for Colton's football game Saturday morning and it really did a number on him. It was cold and windy and he had a hard time with it. I think that those have been his only outings besides chemo and they are very hard on him, but he does it for the kids. Colton had a pretty good game, but his team lost. When we arrived home, we found a pizza delivery person in our driveway with a bunch of pizza and a surprise delivery from the Golson family just in time to watch the OU game. What a surprise. Thanks to the Golson family. That was so thoughtful!!!!

Matt, Angie, Jolene and Lauren left for Oklahoma City yesterday. It was nice having them here for a visit and we will miss them. We got up this morning and attended mass. Emily wasn't so sure about going to class, but decided to go and had a good time. We plan to have a restful afternoon with the family before gearing up for Monday again. Thanks to everyone for keeping Mark so lifted up in prayer. We appreciate all of the support. Remember the Pierce family as Bennie lost his battle to cancer this weekend at a young age of 13. He was diagnosed around the same time as Mark. God bless!!!!!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Oct 16-Two year anniversary

Hello to all. Mark and I went in for his second round of chemo yesterday. He has lost another 5 pounds in the last week and weighed in at 168 fully clothed and after eating breakfast. That is not a good thing. He has been trying his best to eat, but it is very hard for him and he simply isn't getting enough calories. His magnesium level was low and he required a 2 hour magnesium infusion before he could get the chemo. He vomited after getting the magnesium, but tolerated the chemo infusion okay. He slept through most of it and really didn't wake up. Dr. Farmer was, of course, concerned about the weight loss and was concerned about Mark's pain control. She wants to be sure he is comfortable at home and not suffering with pain. She is going to change his pain medications some to see if we can get a more stable dose of pain relief. Hopefully it will work a little better for Mark. She discussed having a hospice nurse come out to visit and make sure Mark was getting adequate pain relief, but Mark vehemently refused this.

Mark came home and crashed in the bed and was just exhausted after the chemo. He didn't eat or drink anything all day or even get up until around 10:00 last night. He finally got up and started drinking a little bit of fluids and around 2am decided to make himself a bowl of soup. The chemo actually seems to help relieve his pain for several days and I hope that this is a good sign. They didn't plan to draw another CEA number until he's had 4 rounds of this chemo, but she said if I really want to know she may draw one next Thursday a bit early. I really want to know what this chemo is doing.

I talked a little to Calen last night. He was very emotional and upset. I haven't talked to Colton much yet about how sick Mark is getting. I will try to do that soon. It is harder to explain to Emily.

We have not given up or lost hope, but are trying our best to deal with the situation at hand. We continue to pray for Mark and give him all the love and support we can. Mark's parents are here and his twin brother Matt has been here for some time as well. Matt's wife Angie and their daughters Jolene and Lauren came in for Fall Break and will be leaving over the weekend. We have been blessed with a lot of support. Please continue to pray for Mark. God bless!!!!!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Oct 13

Hello to all. Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. Mark had an okay weekend. He felt pretty puny on Saturday, but had a good day Sunday and wanted to go watch Colton's baseball tournament. The Slammers were undefeated at that point and were looking good. Mark sat at the edge of the fence. Colton had a good tournament and the Slammers won the championship. The boys all brought the big trophy over to Mark and presented it to him after the win. It was so sweet. We took pictures. The outing wore Mark out and he didn't feel so good on Monday, but by yesterday evening he was getting the pain back under control and seemed to feel better.

We had a great dinner that was brought to us by some church members and Andy joined us along with Matt and Mark's parents, so it was a good evening. My mom has gone home for now. She had a few delays at the airport and one reroute, but eventually got home safe and sound.

We are gearing up for another chemo on Thursday. I am not sure whether they will check another CEA this time. I believe she will and I pray that it has fallen drastically. God bless!!!!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Oct 9

Hello to all. Sorry I didn't post yesterday. It was a crazy day. Mark did well with the chemo infusion. He was hurting when he woke yesterday morning and took 2 pain pills before we left for the infusion center and was still hurting, so he took another one when we got there (that is in addition to the pain patch he is wearing). After they gave him the Benadryl as the premedication, he went to lala land. We watched him closely during the Erbitux infusion since he was so sedated. I sat and stared at him and watched him breathe. The first 5 minutes are the most critical as that is the most notorious for having the anaphylactic reaction. It was stressful, but after the 5 minutes passed, I could relax a little. After the first 30 minutes, I felt better and then each passing minute got easier and easier. They usually run this infusion in over 1 hour, but it took 3 hours yesterday because it was the first one. After the Erbitux, he got the Camptosar infusion. We were glad to be done with the chemo. That was the first time Mark got to get unhooked and leave the Cancer Center without taking a chemo infusion with him. Boy was it nice. Mark didn't get nauseated which was a big plus. He felt extremely tired and his skin looked a yellowish gray color (if there is such a thing). He always does that with the chemo.

He didn't drink anything but a few sips yesterday. He ate a very small amount of food for dinner and then decided he wanted to go to Calen's football game last night. We were all a little shocked to hear him say that. He managed to sit through the game. It was a good one. Auburn beat Smith Station who was previously undefeated. After the game, Mark had a really difficult time managing the stairs. He had to climb up 4 steps and each one must have seemed like a mountain to him. He had to stop between each one and rest and pull himself with the handrail. I thought we were going to have to pick him up and carry him for a minute, but he managed to make it on his own.

He is up this morning and vomited once. He is tired and just worn out, but managed a Carnation instant breakfast. Hopefully we can push some calories in him today and get his activity level up.

Thanks for all the prayers. We feel God's presence at work. God bless!!!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Oct 7

Well, tomorrow is the big day. Mark will once again start his chemotherapy. We are both excited about it and dreading it at the same time. He hasn't been feeling good today, so that makes getting chemo tomorrow sound even less appealing. Matt was here with him this afternoon and Mark was starting to hurt a lot. He wasn't due to change his pain patch until tomorrow afternoon, but they decided to change it a day early to see if they could get better control on Mark's pain and I think it has finally started helping. Dr. Farmer talked to us about doing this if we needed to, so we may have to change the patches more frequently. Mark's CEA marker was very high at 240. It was around 60 prior to surgery. We hope this chemo can get the marker to fall dramatically with treatment.

We are scheduled to be at the infusion center at 8:30 and the infusion should start shortly after that. They will give premedications first to decrease the chance of Mark having a reaction. They will give only a small dose of the Erbitux at first and infuse it slowly over 5 minutes. If there is a reaction, it usually happens within the first 5 minutes. If we get past that, they can speed up the infusion a little bit and watch him. He will have another drug to get as well, but it is one he's had before and we don't expect complications. It does cause severe nausea. Mark required multiple antinausea medicines and the electrical stimulator watch for nausea with this drug before, so hopefully we can manage (especially with his already poor nutrition status). We will have to do these treatments once a week for 4 weeks and then Mark will get 2 weeks off before we restart the cycle.

Mark wanted to watch the wedding video tonight. We used to watch it every year on our anniversary, but eventually got out of the habit and we haven't watched it in years. It was fun seeing it again. We look so young (like kids) and had so much fun. The kids in the wedding are now grown and in college.

Please continue to keep Mark in your prayers and say a special prayer for him tomorrow while he gets this new chemo agent. We hope and pray that all goes well. Remember Bennie Pierce who is fighting cancer and pray that Carly Parker remains cancer free. There is one more prayer request today for Joel Speigner who was recently diagnosed with GI cancer. He has started chemo and needs the chemo to shrink the tumor enough for the surgeons to be able to surgically resect it. Please remember Joel in your prayers as well. Thanks for all the love and support. God bless!!!!!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Oct 6

Hello again. We had a good day today. Mark is starting to get a better handle on the pain. It is definitely still there, but he is learning how to manage it a little bit better and it is making life a little easier for him. The patches have helped and he is using pills for breakthrough pain. He looked much better today than I've seen him since surgery and it was a good feeling for me.

We visited with Dr. Farmer this afternoon. Matt, Mark's twin brother, went to the Dr. appointment with us. It really freaked Dr. Farmer and all the nurses out to see Mark's identical twin. They just couldn't believe that there were two of them. They all filed in to see them both and joked that they should charge admission. We discussed the upcoming chemotherapy and are still planning to start it on Thursday. Mark lost a pound and is down to 173, but actually looks better than he did last week, so I'm not too concerned about the pound weight loss. He has agreed to do the Carnation instant breakfast drinks (as opposed to the Boost or Ensure) and Dr. Farmer was glad to hear that he caved on that. She now asked him to do 2 daily. She's really pushing him!!!! (haha) Mark said he would try it. We again discussed the chemo agents and the potential for the Erbitux to cause anaphylaxis. Usually if it happens it will be on the first infusion and during the first 5 minutes. Boy am I dreading that!!!! Pray that Mark does not have an anaphylactic reaction to this medication. The other big side effect is a rash which is quite common and Mark will probably just have to deal with. The chemo will be weekly one day infusions for 4 weeks and then 2 weeks off and then he will repeat that cycle again.

Mark has started getting out of the house a little bit which is a BIG step for him. He went yesterday and today to Calen's football practice. He was considering going to Calen's football game this Thursday night, but now that chemo will get started, that may not be possible. We will have to see on that one.

We have had so many people helping out. Thanks to everyone who has brought food over. It is very appreciated. Also a big Thank You to Jason Price for your visit tonight and for fixing our fan. We love you so much!!!! Thanks to all of you who have continued to pray for Mark through this battle. We couldn't have made it this far without all of the support and prayers. Please remember Bennie Pierce and Carly Parker in your prayers as well. God bless!!!!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Oct 4

Hello to all. Mark had a rocky weekend. He managed to make it out to Colton's football game Saturday morning. He got to see Colton score a touchdown and make several good carries and many great tackles on defense although their team lost by a touchdown. It was a good game. Mark's twin brother, Matt, made it in from Oklahoma and will be staying a while and my mom is still here. Brent and Kathy (Mark's parents) will be heading back this weekend in time to get my mom back to the airport.

Mark's pain patch is helping to control the pain some, but he is still requiring the pain pills and then ends up sleeping a lot. He gets frustrated and is never truly relieved of the pain. It is pretty constant for him. He is trying his best to eat, but it is difficult because of the abdominal pain that it causes (bloating and distention). He got in a Carnation instant breakfast with his milk today for the vitamins and extra protein which helped and ate pretty well this evening.

Mark wasn't able to go to mass this morning, so Father Bill brought communion to Mark this afternoon and visited for a short time. It was very nice of him and we appreciated the visit.

I will start back to work tomorrow. It will be very difficult for me to leave Mark. I'm sure I will be very distracted, so I don't know how that will go. I am going to give it a try.

We see Dr. Farmer Tues afternoon and hopefully get to give the new chemo agents a try on Thursday. We are praying that this new chemo will be helpful for Mark and that he will not develop an allergic reaction to it. We pray for strength for Mark to continue this battle. It is really wearning him down. It is hard for us all to sit and watch Mark suffer so much and not be able to help more. We all feel a little helpless and somewhat frustrated. We hope to see brighter days in the near future for Mark.

God bless!!!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Oct 2

Good news today. We just got back from Dr. Farmer's office. She was impressed with how much better Mark looks today. He hasn't had any more fevers. He gained a few pounds and is up to 174 now. She wants to get his pain under better control so that we can get a few more pounds on him, so she is putting him on a long acting pain patch. We will start that today and see how it does. Hopefully it will be just what Mark needs. She wants him to drink supplements like Ensure, Boost or Smoothies, but he won't. (I've been trying that since his surgery. Glad it's not just me he won't listen to.) She says he needs the vitamins to heal, but he is so stubborn!!!

We will see her again on Tuesday afternoon for an appointment and to discuss the chemo again and then she plans to start his chemo on Thursday. YEAH!!!!! The chemo regimen will be different and this one will be given weekly for just one day. The down side is that 1 in 5 patients has an allergic reaction to the drug and sometimes it is an anaphylactic reaction. She said they had to code a patient who started this a few weeks ago with chest compressions. Not what we wanted to hear. They did resuscitate him.

We are glad to be moving in this direction and pray now that Mark will have success on this new chemotherapy and not be one of the patients who develops an allergy. We have to think positive. Continue to keep Mark in your prayers as always. Remember Bennie Pierce who is also battling cancer and pray that Carly Parker remains cancer free. God bless!!!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Oct 1

Today was a mixed day again. Mark saw Dr. Johnston yesterday who was covering for Dr. Farmer. They just wanted to make sure the increase in Mark's pain level wasn't something worrisome like peritonitis or something else. They were confident that it is just cancer pain after seeing Mark. Mark, of course, gets there and plays it off like he's doing okay and not having that much pain. It must just be a man thing. I am about to fall on the floor because we haven't been sleeping at all at night since he is up totally miserable, moaning all night and can't eat or function because he is in so much pain and he is sitting there telling the doctor "oh it's not that bad right now". I wanted to punch him and make it hurt. Of course I opened my mouth and started telling the doctor that he wasn't sleeping, etc, etc. to get all of it out there. Mark says "I really just think it's gas pain". Oh I wanted to shoot him. Anyway, Dr. Johnston increased his pain medication quite a bit and more frequently so that he can be comfortable. It was helpful, but Mark still wakes frequently with pain and has to take more pills (every 3 hours) and doesn't get a good night's sleep. We discussed using a patch which would give longer pain relief and I think we may discuss this with Dr. Farmer tomorrow when we see her.

Mark didn't eat dinner at all last night or any breakfast this morning because he was having too much pain. (But it's not that bad and just gas pain according to Mark. Imagine steam coming from my ears). We got him more comfortable by lunch and he was eating again. He was able to eat dinner tonight and we are trying to talk him into a late night snack now. We need to play catch up with the calories.

Calen had a Jr. High football game tonight against Eufaula and Mark was not able to make it. (Auburn won 40-12.) He is simply too sick to go. He goes from the bed to the comfy chair in the living room and that's pretty much his day other than trips to the bathroom. We tried to talk him into a walk outside today for sunshine and fresh air, but he refused.

Mark's parents are back home in Oklahoma. They are resting up and gathering Fall clothing for a return trip soon. My mom is here for reinforcement and Mark's twin brother, Matt, will be here Saturday morning.

We see Dr. Farmer early tomorrow morning and hope that we get good news about being able to restart chemo. Mark is weak and chemo will certainly make that worse, but there aren't other options at this point. We've got to push forward if we want a chance to reduce the tumors and reducing the tumors may give Mark pain relief and allow him to eat without pain. Pray that Mark can regain his strength and gain his weight to withstand the chemo. Thanks again to everyone for the support. God bless!!!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Sept 30

Hello again. Mark seems to be just a little bit better today and I am happy to see that. He had a really rough night with a lot of pain and we were both up most of the night. He couldn't get control of the pain, so we started giving him 2 pain pills at a time which started giving him some better relief. I rubbed his back or belly half the night. By early morning, he was able to fall asleep and get some rest. This morning he was up and having a pretty normal conversation with his parents, my mom (who flew in yesterday) and me. It felt like the old Mark and was great. His pain is much worse now and the 2 pain pills aren't touching the pain. He has been pretty miserable. We have a call in to the doctor's office to see if we can get something stronger to help control Mark's pain. I think if we can get that under control, he will be able to get up and do more.

He has managed to gain a few pounds back and we are so excited about that. He is almost up to the 170 mark again. He has been drinking chocolate milk to give him extra calories and protein and ate a PB&J sandwich for breakfast.

Mark is a fighter and is trying his best to battle this awful beast. We really need to be able to restart that chemo as it is our only hope at this point. Please pray that Mark is able to get pain control and to regain his strength to endure more chemo.

There are not enough words to say Thank You to so many of you who have been so kind to us. Your words, phone calls, dropping in with food, coming to do yard work, and leaving kind words on the blog site or just praying for us means so much to us. Thanks to all of you who have been so kind. Please continue to pray for Mark. Also, Bennie Pierce is not doing well and is also battling cancer. Please remember him in your prayers also. God bless!!!!!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Sept 28

Hello. It's been a few days since I've posted. These seem to be harder to write. Mark isn't doing so good. He continues to struggle with the simple things. Getting up and down are chores for him. He has not been able to get enough calories in to maintain his weight. He is down another 5 lbs to 165 lbs now. Unfortunately he is experiencing quite a bit of pain as well which requires him to take pain medication. He sleeps a lot which makes us feel better-seeing him resting comfortably is better than watching him hurt. He starting vomiting some last night and this morning, so hopefully that is past us. He hasn't had any more of that since he woke this morning.

He did manage to make it to Calen's football game last Thursday night which was quite a chore. He missed Colton's baseball tournament Sunday as he simply didn't have the strength or stamina to go and will probably miss Colton's football game tonight as well. He really hates that, but at this point it isn't really an option.

Thanks again to everyone for all of the love and support during this difficult time. We really appreciate it all. Continue to pray for Mark. God bless!!!!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Sept 24

We met with Dr. Farmer this morning. It was nice to see everyone in the Cancer Center again. We got hugs from Nancy, Andrea and Alveda who have all taken care of Mark throughout his cancer battle. Dr. Farmer also greeted us with bug hugs. She was not excited to see Mark in the shape he is in. She is still concerned about the low grade fevers he seems to run. They are only about 99.0 degrees now. She is switching his antibiotics to stronger and broader spectrum ones and also ones to cover anaerobes in the gut. She also wants Mark to work on putting weight on. Starting back on chemo at this point would be way too dangerous, so we have to wait which isn't good either.

It was a tough visit to say the least. We have a very tough road ahead.

Mark wants to try and make the 8th grade football game tonight in Russell Co. We will see how that goes. I hope he can make it.

Thanks again for all of the continued support and prayers. God bless!!!!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Sept 23

Hello again. It's been good being home, but Mark is still struggling with his recovery. He has lost down to 170 lbs and cannot maintain or gain any weight back (in fact, he continues to lose). He is down 25 lbs so far. He doesn't have any appetite and when he eats, he feels very sick and boated, so it's no fun for him. He is weak and extremely tired. It is hard for me to see him like this. He is struggling to do the littlest of things.

I haven't gone back to work yet. I am an emotional wreck right now and don't think I'd be very therapeutic seeing patients right now. I don't really know how I'll do it next week, but I will have to figure it out somehow.

We see Dr. Farmer tomorrow in the morning. We will see what will happen next. Mark really needs to start on chemo quickly to see if we can start fighting this cancer, but he is so weak and malnourished right now, I'm afraid she won't want to start it yet for fear it will make Mark even worse. I am praying that I am wrong.

Continue to pray for healing as Mark needs this right now. Thanks to all of you for your continued support. God bless!!!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Sept 21

Yeah!!!!! We are finally home and it feels great. Things certainly didn't go as planned, but do they ever??? We arrived home around 10:45 pm central time long after our expected arrival home of, say 4pm.

We checked out of the Family House and made it to the airport without any difficulty. Mark required wheelchair service through the airport, so that was a little challenging. I had to leave him sitting in the chair with one bag while I carried all the others to the KIOSK to check in, then ask someone in line to watch my bags (which I don't think you're supposed to do) and walk over to get Mark and push him to the line. We got checked in and then came security. Wheelchair security has it's own line and they were pretty nice folks, but Mark got frisked from head to toe and he was a bit sore around the abdomen. We thought that was the hard part. WRONG!!!! Our flight got delayed 1 hour at first. We thought "no big deal". Of course, Mark's dad had already left Auburn for the airport by then. We finally got to board an hour late and then got told we were going to have another hour of delay while sitting on the plane. NOT FUN!!! Mark was quite uncomfortable trying to sit in those seats. Well, then comes the third announcement of yet a 3rd hour of delay while sitting on the plane. YIKES!!! It's looking pretty bad now. We remained calm. They passed out some snacks and water, lucky for Mark as he was getting a little sick. The next announcement was that our plane couldn't take off for 2 more hours because of the weather in Atlanta. They at least let us deplane at that time and get something to eat. All the while, Brent is sitting in the Atlanta airport waiting on us. 5 hours of flight delay, who would have thought. We finally made it to Atlanta and the flight wasn't bad. By then, Mark had taken some pain medicine and was resting a bit easier. After landing, there were too many planes and not enough gates, so we spent another hour on the tarmack waiting to deplane. We were never so happy as to get off of that plane and to find Brent and our luggage and get the heck out of there.

By this time, we'd missed both of the boys' football games. In fact, Colton and Emily were already sleeping when we arrived and we still haven't gotten to give them hugs and kisses. Calen greeted us at the door with big hugs. He was quite happy to see us. It was GREAT walking through the door. Mark's office sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers and dinner over. We heated up the food and it was very tasty and hit the spot. They also had made a welcome home poster with a picture of all of them at the last tailgate. Too cute!!! Thanks guys!!!! We loved it.

Ahhhhh. Our own bed tonight. It's so soft and comfy. Much better than the recliners, hospital beds and beds at the Family House. We are so glad to be home and now we can work on getting Mark better and restarting the chemo.

Dr. Farmer has been great through all of this. She has been keeping up with Mark through emailing and texting me throughout Mark's hospital stay. She even gave me her phone numbers while she was on vacation in case we needed her. She is so sweet and great to Mark. She wants to see Mark this week and hopefully formulate a new plan of action. I am telling you, we will definitely have to work on Mark's nutrition status and stamina, as he has had dramatic changes since the surgery and prolonged hospitalization. I know Mark is a fighter and can do this. I have faith in him.

Thanks for all the continuous prayers from all of you while we were in Pittsburgh and needed them so much. Continue to pray for God's blessing on Mark's health issues. God bless!!!!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Sept 20

Well, it's almost here. We fly home tomorrow and are quite excited about that. Today has been a slow day for us. Mark wished that we wouldn't have taken the Dr.'s advice and just flown home today. I think it was good that we were cautious. I have started packing some of our things and have started giving away items at the Family House that we won't be using anymore.

Mark wanted to take a cab to Chili's last night for dinner. We had a good meal and had planned to see a movie after dinner, but Mark didn't feel well and we ended up coming back to the Family House instead. I think he has high expectations for just having gotten out of the hospital. He doesn't have much stamina at all and is still quite thin. You can definitely appreciate the weight loss and loss of muscle mass on him.

We woke this morning and walked to Starbucks which is just next door. That was a nice outing for Mark and just the right distance. I picked up lunch and brought it in and then for dinner, we ordered Chinese. It was good. Mark's fortune was to start an exercise and nutrition program to enhance his health which I thought was very fitting. Mine was Live and let live.....Live and HELP live, which was also appropriate. Maybe they pick certain fortunes to send to the Family House??? I don't know.

We leave on the airport shuttle at 11am eastern and our flight leaves for Auburn at 1:30 eastern. YEAH!!! I can't wait to get home and walk through the door again. It has been soooooooo long!!!! Mark is anxious as well. He really cannot wait to get home. Both of the boys have football games tomorrow night. Colton has a rec league game and Calen's makeup game with Opelika Jr High is tomorrow as well. Mark wants to try and make it. I'm not sure he'll have the stamina, but if I know Mark, he'll try.

Thanks again to all of you who continually pray for Mark and our family and to everyone for the help and support during this time. We appreciate it more than you know. Now we have to get Mark strong enough to get back on a chemo regimen. Pray for that. God bless!!!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Sept 19

Hello. Well, Mark is officially a free man. He was discharged around 2:30 eastern today and didn't waste a minute getting out of there. He didn't even tell his nurse he was leaving. As soon as the IV team showed up to unhook his port, he was outta there. We walked to the family house (Mark still with his Fall Risk band around his arm). He was excited that the OU game was on TV and that he hadn't missed any of it yet.

He was discharged on Indocin which is an antiinflammatory which should prevent fevers caused by the tumor as well as antibiotics. Hopefully that combination will do the trick. Indocin is notorious for tearing up the gut, so we will see. (I use it a lot in Rheumatology, so I am quite familiar with this med). It is also hard on the kidneys, so we will have to really push the fluids and not let Mark get dehydrated.

Mark insisted that I go ahead and book our flight home, so we are officially flying home Monday afternoon. We are supposed to check in with Dr. Barlett's office as well, but Mark does not want to waste any time getting home. Pray that there are no set backs this time and we make it to Auburn safely.

God bless!!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Sept 18-evening

Well, Mark got his staples removed this evening. He now has steri strips in their place. The doc told him he is still at high risk for the wound opening up since he has tumor in there. The last time Mark had surgery, he did open up and had to heal from the inside out, so we hope that doesn't happen this time. We were glad to have one more step behind us.

Mark got his first dose of oral antibiotics at 9pm. The ID doc didn't feel like Mark needed antibiotics at all. That was what he recommended. When the surgery doc rounded, he disagreed and ordered the antibiotics himself. He thinks Mark will need 2 weeks of oral antibiotics when we leave the hospital. If Mark does well overnight and tomorrow morning, we will probably be discharged. YEAH!!!!! However, they want us to hang out in Pittsburgh until Monday to make sure Mark isn't going to have any more trouble as they wouldn't want us to get home and get into trouble and have to explain the entire case to new docs, etc. We will have to hang out at the Family House Saturday and Sunday. I can think of worse things. At lease I'll have a bed over there. YEAH!!!! (Still no cot for tonight-the hospital has some sort of cot shortage. Who knew?????) I will be glad to say goodbye to this recliner tomorrow for sure.

Mark took a short walk with me today. He didn't want to go outside or do a lot. His appetite seems to be getting a little better. He has lost A LOT of weight and muscle mass. He is very thin!!!

Thanks for all the prayers and support. God bless!!!!!

Sept 18

Mark continues to improve. He ran a couple of fevers last night, but no shaking chills. They stopped the routine Tylenol, so we saw the fevers again. He continues with the IV antibiotics. The surgery team has rounded twice today so far. They wanted to switch Mark to oral antibiotics to see how he would do, but wanted the infectious disease team to make the recommendations on the antibiotics. When the surgery team came back around lunch time, they were disappointed that ID hadn't been by yet to change things. It is now 4:30 eastern and still no ID and Mark is still getting the IV antibiotics. We are hoping the ID doc comes by soon. He is very dry and not much personality. Mark says he reminds him of the food critic in Ratatouille, and I would have to agree. He looks and acts just like him. It is hilarious and now hard to keep a straight face when he comes in to the room. (I guess we have been here too long when we are figuring out what characters our doctors look like). haha

Mark's favorite doc has been a Texas graduate. Can you believe it??? They sit and talk football a lot. There is another doc from Tampa that has been very good to us. The surgery team has been great!!! Dr. Bartlett went to Germany for some lectures and Dr. Pingpang is filling in. He is a very nice guy as well.

Mark is getting stir crazy and is ready to get out of here. We are hoping for tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed. I am really hoping they find a cot for me to sleep on tonight as well. So far, no luck. I went to the Family House to shower this morning and laid on the couch and fell asleep for 45 minutes. It felt sooooooooooo good to lay flat!!!! I've slept in the recliner for 3 nights in a row now (or a few hours in Mark's bed which had the head raised to 45 degrees).

We keep hearing about all the rain there in the South. We haven't gotten any. It is beautiful up here. Too bad we are stuck inside this hospital. We hope to be on a plane to Auburn in the very near future. Thanks to all of you for the support. We cannot say thank you enough. God bless!!!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Sept 17-evening post

Hello again. Mark had a pretty good day today. He went downstairs with me and we walked outside the hospital and sat on a bench and enjoyed some fresh air. It was nice. We haven't had any rain here in Pittsburgh. It is sunny and pretty nice, only a little chilly in the early mornings and evenings. Mark really enjoyed getting out. It made him really want to get out of here and get on a plane home.

They made evening rounds and decided to leave him on the IV antibiotics and antifungals through the night and will change him to pills in the morning. They also stopped his routine Tylenol. Well, Mark is now running a fever again. He may be running fever that is related to the tumor itself. If that is the case, he will have to constantly take Tylenol. However, they still believe Mark has a subclinical infection as he looked very toxic when he was readmitted. He was gray, his eyes were rolling back in his head, he had shaking chills and he looked bad. He doesn't look anything like that now, he is just running fever, but otherwise okay.

I still have not been able to snag a cot since we've been readmitted. These recliners are extremely uncomfortable to sleep on. I woke up so stiff, I couldn't walk. I got up last night in the middle of the night and told Mark to move over and I crawled in his hospital bed with him and fell asleep. The doctor walked in this morning with both of us fast asleep in the bed. I'm sure we looked pretty silly.

We are really missing the kids terribly. Calen sounds so down when I talk to him. Emily blows me kisses through the phone and Colton really seems to be handling it okay. I can't wait to hug them all. The Bertus' are doing a great job taking care of them and getting them everywhere plus dealing with all of the things that pop up here and there. We couldn't be here without them, so thanks!!!!

Continue to pray for Mark. We hope to be home soon. God bless!!!!

Sept 17

Hello again. Mark is having a good day again. They added an antifungal IV medication to the 2 antibiotics he was on just to cover all bases. He seems to be responding well. The nurse was just in to discontinue the continuous IV fluids, so now it is up to him to drink enough fluids to keep him from becoming dehydrated. The doctor rounded this morning and wanted to continue IV antibiotics for now. He will probably stop by for evening rounds again, so we will see if he makes any other changes.

The nurse was encouraging Mark to walk outside for some fresh air. He hasn't decided yet, but hopefully he will decide to get out of bed and walk around some today. Now that he is unhooked from the IV pole, he has no excuses.

His highest temperature last night was 99.0. They are giving him routine Tylenol which would mask fever, so I'm not sure when they will stop that.

Overall, Mark is better and I am quite pleased. I am hoping for a quick discharge as the last 2 nights sleeping in this uncomfortable recliner is really a pain. They say they are out of cots. I really hope one frees up soon. My entire body is sore.

We are missing the kids terribly. We haven't seen them since Sept 1st. Calen has been sick twice now. Brent and Kathy have had to take both Colton and Emily to the dentist for their cleanings and I think they are getting run ragged with all of the schedules. Colton lost a tooth. I would love to be able to give them all a big hug right now.

Continue to pray for healing. God bless!!!!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Sept 16

Hello again. Well, I am a little more sane this morning. Mark is doing better. His color has turned from gray to pink and he is at least 80% better. The IV fluids and antibiotics have made a tremendous difference. He really does look like a different person this morning. Eugenie and I were talking about that this morning and Mark's nurse chimed in from across the room and stated she thought he was "checking out" last night when she was admitting him as he looked so bad.

The resident came in today and was also impressed with how different Mark looked. They plan to continue the antibiotics IV for now and are sending an infectious diseases specialist around to see Mark today to see if these antibiotics are sufficient or if they think there should be any changes made. We are still waiting on the culture results which may take 48-72 hours. Nothing has grown yet. Mark's white count was elevated though. The CT scan showed fluid around the tumor.

Mark's roommate did turn the TV off last night, so we were able to get a little rest. The recliner I slept in was way uncomfortable, but I made due. I finally got to sleep sometime this morning and woke with Mark and Eugenie staring at me. Not a great feeling. haha.

Today is Eugenie's birthday. She is scheduled to fly home today. She tried to change her flight until tomorrow, but it was difficult as the airline was creating havoc and we told her to go on and get home to her husband and children. She has a vacation planned in a couple of days and needs to get back. I think I can handle this solo for a while. Hopefully we will only be here a few more days. Our flights were cancelled and we will rebook when we get a discharge date.

Mark's roommate was discharged this morning. Poor guy. His wife couldn't stay with him last night and he was here by himself without an interpreter. I think he ran into a few difficulties.

We plan to get Mark up in a little while and see what he can do. He was able to eat a little bit this morning which is an improvement. I keep praying for strength and guidance (and patience). Thanks for all the support. God bless!!!!