Hello to all. It's been a busy and eventful 24 hours. Mark's twin brother, Matt, and my mom, Sue, decided late last night to drive to Auburn. They packed quickly and hopped in the car and drove overnight through the rain and made it today around noon. I told Mark last night that his brother was coming. He didn't remember that he had a brother at first. I sat for a while and told him the story of us moving to Auburn and that he was a Finance Professor at Auburn University and about our children and our life here. I asked if he remembered Andy coming to visit him and after a little bit, he started remembering. After the story, I asked him if he remembered his brother and he looked at me like I was crazy, so I asked "what's your brother's name?" and he said "Matt".
He has been a little more with it today. He still has times where he doesn't know us, but for the most part can figure out who we are. He says off the wall things and I think he hallucinates a lot. The hiccups continue and sometimes his diaphragm goes into a spasm and he makes a very loud gasping sound inward that is pretty scary to hear.
Matt and my mom made it around noon as I stated above. When Matt walked in the front door, I was sitting with Mark in the room and Mark said in a sing songy voice like a child "Matt's here". It was pretty cute. Matt got to stay with him today, but visiting with him is hard since he is so confused. It is more spending time with him than visiting because you never know what you're going to get. Andy came by and he did remember Andy, so that was good.
Mark's blood pressure is decreasing and he is taking in less water. He is definitely declining. No one knows the day or hour, but we're definitely on very limited time now.
I received the nicest gift from Tracy Richard and John Oliver of Camera Graphics today. Tracy took a family picture of us shortly after Mark was diagnosed with cancer as a gift to us. Many of you have seen it as we put it on our Christmas cards in 2007. She had the picture blown up into a beautiful size family portrait and framed by Mr. Oliver of Camera Graphics. It is so beautiful and amazing. The frame is gorgeous!!! I was so overwhelmed at the time, I don't think I said thank you enough to them. I was just in shock!!! I brought it into the room to show Mark and said "look what Tracy brought us" and he said "yeah, she took that". Amazing for how confused he is that he can remember that. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!
We are trying to keep the kids' routines as normal as possible for now. They are definitely feeling Mark's decline. Colton didn't want to come in the room tonight to tell Mark goodnight. Calen has been a little withdrawn, but tells me everything is okay. Emily is just Emily. I think this will be different on her and maybe won't be real for a while for her. It's hard to know what a 5 year old thinks sometimes. She came in to tell Mark goodnight in her usual happy tone as if nothing were wrong. Of course, this is all she knows. Her dad has been sick half of her life now and for all of what she remembers I'm sure.
Thanks to everyone for continued support. We are trying to cherish every moment we have left with Mark. Continue to pray for peace and comfort for him. Pray for all those with cancer. Pray for those in the Haiti earthquake as well. God bless!!!!
5 comments:
Dear Mrs. Bertus and family,
I ask for your forgiveness for posting this on the blog, I wasn’t able to locate an email address to contact you directly.
I just wanted to convey to you my deepest sympathy during this incredibly difficult time. I have kept Mark and all of you in my personal prayers since the beginning of August when I enrolled in his Advanced Investments Class this last fall. I will forever be grateful that I was able to learn from Mark and benefit from his passion of teaching. Mark always found a way to challenge students to give their best, and he wouldn’t settle for anything less, because that would be cheating ourselves. Mark is a master of seamlessly incorporating his great sense of humor, and his intensity and enthusiasm, and just good-natured banter with the students into his lectures. Time just seems to fly by in Mark’s class, and he always knows the best way to break down even the toughest of concepts into manageable portions. I used to love watching the videos when students would wear apparel from “other” university’s and hear Mark stop the discussion and take a few teasing shots at the students. I honestly laughed out loud when somebody had the “audacity” to wear a University of Texas hat in his class, I can still hear him say in his loud but playful voice, “Are you kidding me?” This was almost as good as the time that somebody wore an OU sweatshirt, of course the class was stopped one more time for an announcement from Mark that this person immediately passed the class with an A.
Professors like Mark truly only come around once in a lifetime, and I can’t thank you enough for allowing him to share his incredible gift of teaching with the students and facility of Auburn. I’m so thankful that the University has hours and hours of video footage of Mark teaching that you and your children can cherish for years to come. He puts so much of his personality into his teaching, that I’m sure that your children will be able to use these lectures as a catalyst for their own higher education down the road.
Like everyone who knows Mark and your family, my heart has truly been broken to read of the pain and suffering that you have all gone through. I continue to pray for your peace and I know that great blessings will be sent to you from heaven when you need them the most. I very much admire your faith and courage that you have demonstrated throughout this unjust trial. Phillip James Bailey has given a favorite quote of mine that always seems to give me so much peace and reassurance in what otherwise seems to be such a senseless situation. He said, “we live in deeds, not years, in thoughts, not breaths, in feelings, not figures on a dial and we should really count time by heart throbs.”
Thank you for continuing to update all of us through this blog, even when I’m sure that it has been very difficult and caused you extra heartache. Please know that your posts, which are so personal and honest, have inspired me to begin raising money for cancer research. My hope is that someday the world will be rid of this awful, awful disease. Please know that God truly does love you all, and I know that He will continue to bless you with incredible blessings of peace and comfort.
All my best,
Kurt Cherrington
Kurt.Cherrington@gmail.com
http://www.caringinfo.org/
http://www.cancercare.org/
blessings to you as each hour passes ...my heart and rpayers go out to you and your family. mark's hallucinations aren't that..he is seeing glimpses of the "other side".....that may or may not bring you comfort ...but it is real!
Continuing ever day to pray for each of you, comfort and peace that only God can give. Just posting to remind you that people do care.
The Nichols family
Ben, Sydney & Hope
I am glad Matt made it. I think Mark was waiting for him. Now I think he will go in peace.
I have just learned of Mark through COLE'S Foundation. I would ask our Heavenly Father to please grant you peace, comfort, strength, and patience in these last few hours of Mark's life before he transitions to His Heavenly Home. I will have you and your entire family in my thoughts and prayers. May He bless and keep you in the palm of His hand.
Janet
COLE'S Prayer Team
www.colesfoundation.com
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