Jan 10

Hello again. Things are about the same in the Bertus house. Mark continues to feel weak and tired and sleeps most of the time. He has very little time that he is awake and alert and he doesn't like to talk much. His voice is more of a whisper and he can't stand anything loud at all. He thinks talking in a normal voice in the room is being loud. He grimaces if things get too noisy, it seems to aggravate the pain and discomfort. He likes the light to be off with just the lamp on, but still leaves the tv on. Sometimes on mute. Go figure. I relate it to how I feel when I have a migraine and any stimuli at all causes the pain to increase, so I guess that must be in some way how it is with him.

Mark is still on the morphine drip to control his pain and it seems to be helping. He seems to be pretty comfortable for the most part. He can get extra medicine when needed and that is helpful. He continues to lose weight as he cannot eat anything. It is a helpless feeling. I miss that he isn't able to sit and talk or watch a movie with me anymore. I sit by the bed just to be next to him.

Basketball started last week for Colton and their team pulled off a narrow victory by 1 point. Calen's team will start this Tuesday without even practicing yet. It will be interesting, but I'm sure they'll have fun. I took Calen to see the movie Avatar. It was really good. I was trying to get him out to do some things with his friends this weekend. I think he feels like he has to be here for me and I don't want him to feel that way. I certainly want him to enjoy being 13. (Not that I minded going to the movie with him- it was nice).

We continue to pray that Mark remains at peace and pain free. I know that God is in charge and I don't understand this, but I am trying to stay strong and trust in Him. Please continue to pray for Mark and all those fighting this cancer battle. God bless!!!